Brewski
Noobcakes
Posts : 536
Join date : 2008-08-04
Age : 47
Location : UK
 |  Subject: funniest post of the day  Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:54 pm | |
| Pulled this from the tentonhammer forums, major  - Quote :
- The following is a letter to Mythic Entertainment and Paul Barnett, it is expressed here in the open community so that all may read it and know what is expected of Mythic and Paul - so that all people may understand the gravity of my words.
Dear Mythic,
Hey baby, you know I love you <-----------> this much.
I loved you back when you were still looking all Dark Age of Camelot like.
I'll always love you Mythic, and I love you too Paul, you're a special person to me. Like a British friend who appears on my computer screen to tell me amusing stories with a silly accent. You're the Mr. Rogers of my adult life.
But I'm not writing you this letter to just /hug and /kiss you. I'm not looking to cast seduce on you and just fear you around the room. It's not like that baby.
I'm writing you this letter to let you know that even after Warhammer launches. No matter if all the girls are like "Oh my god it's Warhammer!" and they're throwing their bra's and generic named starting armor at you. You can't let the fame go to your head.
If Warhammer launches and after 3 months there are still bugs and he's all goofy looking with acne and parachute pants. I'm going to hypothetically kill or siege you, Mythic.
You need to pop open the hood everyday and be fixing those bugs. I'm talking about fixing them good. Those bugs need to be begging for mercy and you're all like "Get ready to die motherf*cker" because you fixed them so bad.
Additionally Mythic, you need to release content patches. I'm talking about content patches like every 3 months. Starting the third month after the game launches. It's not about you Mythic, it's about the consumer, and the consumer wants content patches.
I want to see content patches full of Unicorns and Artillery Cannons, I want you patching in places my imagination can't even fathom yet with lewt so phat that I can't equip it yet.
I want to hear about your first expansion within 1 year after launch. You need to expand Warhammer outward and inwards, with Tradeskills and Classes and Races and giant flowing fields with you and me riding horseback on the beach while dribbling chocolate strawberries in each others mouths.
I want you to balance your classes. Every night, when we hop into bed, I want you to look at me with them big, dreamy, ocean eyes and go "The Classes Got Balanced Today, Honey." and I'm going to say "Orly?" and you go "Yarly. I made Bright Wizards suck again." and I'm going to be all like, "Mega-Tight." and then we'll spoon and cuddle for no less than 3 hours.
It's going to be glorious Mythic.
But no matter how solid this launch is, no matter how many copies you sell. No matter how many people are like "WOW IZ TEH SUXXZORZ!!11eleven" you gotta get back in there and fight for it, son. You gotta fight for it everyday like your mother done told ya right.
Don't let me catch you chillax'ing and gel'in like a felon all up in the hizzy 24/7'in. It's not like that, girl. You gotta be up in the streets of Altdorf, patching and fighting every, single, day. This sh!t is fo'real. It's not a game.
It's Warhammer.
Now do me proud, bring on da'Waagggh.
I believe in you Mythic.
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